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LilTers
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Name: Teresa
Birthday: 4/16/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: God, guitar, singing, youthgroup, DDR, googling everything, talking on the phone with KT 'n J gangsta, Cranium, Chipotle, temporarily obssessing about bands/songs, collecting plush snowmen with green hats, Mafia!, dancing like a retard, movies, Smallville and flamming hot cheetos!
Expertise: taking long naps :O)
Occupation: Retired
Industry: Textiles
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  LiL T E R S
Member Since:
4/4/2003
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| I don't know why, but for some reason I enjoy complaining about how much my "life sucks." I incessantly whine about how much homework I have, how busy I am, how tired I am, how stressed I am, how annoying people are, how confusing the future is, etc. In general, I complain a whole lot more than I'd like. But recently, in light of the Thanksgiving season, I've been thinking about everything I have to be thankful for. And truly, truly, I am very very grateful for everything in my life. When I start to think about it, the list of things to be thankful for is endless. God has, for some reason, chosen to fill my life with an overflow of blessings. And whenever I think of all the blessings I have, I think of what God told Abraham in Genesis, "I will bless you... and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." It reminds me that God doesn’t just shower down these blessings because He loves me and wants me to have all these wonderful things to myself, but he blesses me so that I can be a light. He simply loves me for who I am and wants me to pass on His love to others. But it’s going to be hard for me to give love if I am not thankful because I think when I get caught in this cycle of complaining, I become selfish, only focused on who I am and my needs, and not God's needs and the needs of others. So, I am going to try to start being a little more thankful... but I know it isn’t going to be easy. I clearly remember many years ago at a summer retreat there was a speaker who challenged my youth group to cease from complaining for the weekend retreat. If we ever caught one another complaining, we were allowed to mark the guilty complainer's arm with a line on the forearm. Midway through the first day, all of our arms were covered with a colorful rainbow of lines. It was pretty fun marking up each others arms, but it helped illustrate the fact that naturally, we are not the most thankful people and we actually complain a lot for no reason at all. I’m not saying its bad to lament (its fine to display your emotions) but I just recognize that my complaints of “troubles” are usually just minor inconveniences that I could obviously live with. And why should I have so much to complain about when I have so much more to be thankful for? Above all, I should be content with the fact that I am a child of God, saved and reborn through Jesus Christ. I don’t need anything more than the grace already given to me.
There is so much I have to be thankful for. I sometimes can't believe I am so well off compared to the rest of the world. How did I wind up with such a loving family in such a wonderful safe neighborhood to get such a great education? Why did God choose to place me here? It amazes me how easy I have had it. How little barriers God had to cross to come and find me. How little I have to worry about the bare necessities of food, clothing and money. How free it is to worship Jesus in my country. How many brothers and sisters in Christ there are in my life for love and support. And how much more there is to come in the future.  So to start with the thankfulness I want to write a note of thanks, to you, and everyone else (you know who you are) that may or may not read this.
Thank you for listening to my mindless word vomit.
Thank you for calling me and asking how I am doing.
Thank you for dealing with my messiness.
Thank you for eating lunch/dinner with me.
Thank you for helping me with my homework and dealing with my pre-exam freak outs.
Thank you for letting me know what happens when I skip class/oversleep.
Thank you for being open, real, and honest.
Thank you for laughing with me about the dumbest, stupidest things.
Thank you for dealing with my stubbornness, crankiness, and bitterness.
Thank you for giving me encouragement when I feel like I am failing.
Thank you for the weekly meet-ups.
Thank you for the food.
Thank you for motivating me do more and take action on God's love.
Thank you for keeping in touch, with the random texts, IMs, and video chats.
Thank you for your advice.
Thank you for dealing with my constant singing.
Thank you for giving me grace when I am so very often late.
Thank you for your prayers.
Thank you for taking my sarcastic humor and insults.
Thank you for being a friend.
and thank you God, who has ultimately given me all of the above and everything else [It’s a little early, but Happy Thanksgiving!]
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[IV New Student Retreat, Fall '09]
This semester has been very different on many different levels.
-School has suddenly gotten three times harder. Never, have I studied so much in my life.
-New faces and old faces in the dorms/classes (including my new freshman roomie!)
-I live in a much bigger room (yay) so I am no longer tripping over my stuff everywhere I step.
-Small group leading has been busy, challenging, exhausting, and all the while very rewarding through just seeing the excitement and growth of my small group girls.
-Having a bike on campus, has made transportation A LOT easier. Too bad winter is coming.
-Many friendships have gotten stronger, and many have weakened from time and distance. However, oovoo/skype has helped maintain the distant, but still strong ones ;)
-I haven't had as much time to visit home on the weekends :( I miss the family.
-I have moved on.
-I have learned a lot more about patience and grace and acceptance through one particular acquaintance.
-I am trying to rely more on God's word.
-And of course, I must add, the U of I campus suffered through a crazy infestation of first soybean aphids, and now a mass amount of vicious ladybugs.
But all jokes aside, I feel different and much more dependent on the Lord. I haven't felt this good in a long time. Last year, I went into college feeling like I knew most of the Jesus talk, the Jesus walk, feeling like I didn't need any more spiritual guidance. At the time, I really thought God had taught me enough and I could live my life however I wanted to because I was so "rooted" in God. But in reality, I was still human and susceptible to sin and distractions, and well, I was wrong. I was going through the motions, and I was kind of dead inside. I was a very naive freshman and I had so much more to learn. And I erred, but I have finally learned to humble myself and I am learning more and more each day. Praise Jesus :) I definitely forgot how it felt to actually feel God changing you "from the inside out." A few days ago I attended an all night Revival/Worship Event, and it felt so great, to praise Jesus with my arms out, in such an undignified manner that was just saying "Take me now, use me however you want, and however weak I am, use me!"
...So I wonder where else God will take me the rest of this school year. There are so many paths to take in this road of life. Where will the spirit take me?
"The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit." --John 3:8
[IV New Student Retreat, Fall '09]
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| It kind of bothers me how some Christians react when I bring up God or spiritual things in everyday conversation. Going to a big ten party school where the environment is generally "secular," I can see why bringing up "super holy" topics can seem awkward. But, we are Christians in this broken world, we are supposed to be that light that shines out; so why should it be unnatural, especially when Christians are talking to other Christians about God? I have so many Christian friends here at U of I, many of which I am tight knit with in christian fellowships...So how come, HOW come, it sometimes seems only fitting and proper to share about my faith or God when I am in a bible study or church-like setting? Why do we have to be commanded by a worship leader or pastor or bible study leader to pray or speak about God?
A few days ago, I was having a conversation with a close Christian friend of mine, and somehow brought up how I saw God was working in my life and how his plan had actually proved to be better than the one I sought out years ago. My friend reacted with a few assuring grunts, nodded and somehow directed the conversation elsewhere into some secular topic. It didn't really upset me that my friend didn't feed off my spiritual openness, it's just that whereas if we were in a church-like setting, I know my friend would've been much more attentive to my testimony and would have responded with some encouraging words of Christian mumbo jumbo. It just.. *sighs* it just doesn't make sense to me. And it doesn't help that many people and friends at this school are non-Christian, and yet I talk to them about the same issues/topics on a day to day basis. The only difference is that we Christians bring up church events and the people involved in church every so often. Bleh. I'm not making generalizations about any people in particular, and there are A LOT of amazing spiritual friends God has placed in my life, but I would ultimately want to establish some level of spiritual relationship with all my close Christian friends. I want me and my friends to bring up Jesus naturally in everyday conversation, outside of the church setting. This is definitely a work in progress.
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| I have been so crazy busy this past week of summer but have been enjoying every moment of it. God has been filling my life with quality time with my church, my family, friends, and community and I couldn't ask for more. I have been thinking about all the things God has chosen to take away from me and I have also been thinking of all the things that God has blessed me with in return. And as painful those things that he took away from me were, as much as they made me sad, made me stressed, made me angry, and made me cry, they were worth it for all the multitude of blessings he has filled my life with. They were worth it for his love, for me to see a glimpse of God just today alone in his beauty in his nature in his fellowship.. in his word. The shadow does prove the sunshine. Everything bad i have endured in the past was worth it just for life and joy and peace and love and hope. And i cant wait till it gets even better, beyond my imagination, in heaven when I see God face to face in his full glory.
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